A Scary Night

Disclaimer: this blog may have too much information for some readers.

Last night I noticed that I was bleeding while in the bathroom. I calmly (on the outside, freaking out on the inside) phoned my spouse and asked him to come home immediately. I paged an MFM Specialist and waited for a call back. In those few minutes that I sat on the couch alone I heard myself begging aloud. Please don't let this be it. Please, please, please don't be the end. Please...

The Specialist informed me that this may be the beginning of a late miscarriage and that I should attend the nearest hospital for confirmation and to determine if I can travel to the city hospital. Lee, my sister and I ensured that our hospital bag had everything we needed, including the little blankets and toys we'd purchased for the babies. We grabbed the camera and Lee and I headed to the hospital, trying to mentally and emotionally prepare ourselves for the end. Thanks to adrenaline, I was able to do all of this without crying much; I shook like a leaf, but got myself to the hospital and through triage. 

One of my biggest concerns was that we could be wasting time in a hospital which is not equipped to support me during a miscarriage, which I communicated to the nurse. As minutes passed while we sat in our small room, we calculated how far we could have been in relation to the High Risk clinic. Unfortunately the staff did not seem overly familiar with their own procedures. They had us wait for the ER doctor for about 30-40 minutes at which point he paged the OB - which could take another 40 minutes. Luckily, this doctor did acknowledge his own limits. Who does not appreciate some humble honesty? I strongly discouraged a digital examination to determine if my cervix (to try to avoid infection) was dilated and he respected this and said it would be better to have an OB who has experience in this if there is risk involved. 

Up to the OBS section of our small town hospital, we found ourselves the only patients. I do not mind that I did not have to hear others celebrate the safe arrivals of their full-term bundles of joy. They monitored babies' hearts and my bleeding and decided to keep me at the hospital for observation for the night. The bleeding seemed to generally subside over night, thankfully. The nurses were supportive throughout the ordeal and this morning it was decided that it was likely cervical bleeding for which nothing could be done. Before leaving one nurse assured me that I am never an inconvenience and that if I need some reassurance at any time during the pregnancy, I can attend the unit and have some monitoring done. 

Am now back home on bed rest hoping, praying... that this is not the end.

Facebook status of the day: Thankful, desperate for another day