I am 22 weeks pregnant today. That means I have continued for 7 weeks after rupturing. Is this a milestone? Something to celebrate? I do not know. Much like my previous posts, it does not seem to mean much to have made it to 22 weeks. I have beaten the odds, yes. I am still pregnant, yes. But, I am not far along enough to have a chance to have the children I am trying so hard to grow. I am too scared to allow myself to think that because I have been alright thus far, that I will continue. So, on this (un)milestone day, I ask that others that have the capacity for hope without the fear of jinxing, to send that hope/wish/prayer/positive thought (I will take anything!) to my babies today and in the coming weeks.
In the mean time, without completely jinxing everything I hope, we have started to look at the October calendar. If I could make it to November, I would be past 26 weeks pregnant.... sometimes it looks not that far away, but then, it is. Anyways, we were looking at visitors, bed rest supports, etc. My Aunt, who has offered to request a leave from her work in order to support me/us (she's an amazing person, to say the least) and I discussed dates that she could visit. And it is in conversations like that in which time seems to fly - all the weekends are covered until the last one in October. We will get me moved to Ottawa/closer to the hospital sometime before then... crazy. It is so scary to try to plan ahead, but the little piece of me that I allow to hope gets excited that if we can just make it to the time we are planning for, then maybe, just maybe, these little peas have a chance.
Facebook status of the day: What's a milestone anyway? Only time will tell....
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